I have a new Unknown Armies campaign going, and I figured I’d do session writeups, at least so I can keep track of what happens. These players are all new to UA, and in one case new to RPGs in general, so we went with the classic All-Mart night shift premise. Specifically the version from GOAD where they work at the last branch in existence, which the universe is preventing from closing, so they can’t quit this dead end job. As such, their starting objective is to “escape from All-Mart”.
The PCs:
- Julianne, a computer whiz who fell on hard times and had to take a “temporary” job at All-Mart over a year ago.
- CC, an obnoxiously upbeat new-agey internet personality and crystal collector
- Darian, a full-time computer science student on top of his All-Mart job, also with a curiosity about the occult.
We established the PCs’ usual routine. Although the All-Mart has a team of nearly-identical, possibly mute, possible hive mind, stockboys, the PCs usually have to help shelve inventory for part of the night shift. Among tonight’s items, they find a candy called “Fry’s Turkish Dismay”, which CC tries after noting the fourth ingredient is something called “Sodium Orichalchide”, which neither she nor her online fans can identify. It tastes awful and bitter, so she throws it out, although the PCs do squirrel another packet away.
Customers tonight include a nervous wreck of a new father, a Mr. Smith (idea by one of the players), who wears a trench coat, hat, and has a face you immediately forget, and a refreshingly normal personal shopper named Craig, who it turns out has all the known exostock items on his list, among many, many other, seemingly random things. Later, an extremely weird woman comes in, buying but not drinking one bottle of Mountain Dew and then sitting down to wait for someone. When the PCs try to talk to her, she pretends to answer her phone. Repeatedly.
The PCs notice that all the Stouffers frozen stuffed peppers are missing, and later the new father gets beaned in the side of the head with one by a hidden assailant. This prompts the PCs to call in the cops, who of course don’t give a shit, and the junior manager, John, a libertarian conspiracy theorist who immediately becomes fixated on the apparent squatter/attacker.
Some of the PCs, John, and the weird lady customer all try to chase the squatter, who turns out to be a middle-aged, middle-eastern man. He gives the name “Abidjan Abdullahi”, but he obviously came up with that on the spot. In the end, John tracks him down alone in the maze of shelves, brandishing a handgun. There is a gunshot, then a few seconds later, John screams in pain, and shortly returns clutching a bullethole in his upper arm, a haunted look on his face.
During all this, CC breaks into John’s office in search of some exostock bullets that Craig needs. She manages to pick a locked desk drawer and finds most of a box of them, as well as some libertarian literature, a book on meditation by John McAfee, and a printed-out copy of a book called “My Name is Dirk A.” She takes a photo of all this for future use and sells Craig the bullets.
Objective progress: 0% -> 0%
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